Nothing 2 Dance 2 [#5]

Hey. Are you tired of one hundred twenty eight beats per minute being the recent de facto standard for a house track? I’m still stuck at 118, myself. But this is, in fact, so slow for the modern fist-pumping aficionado that tunes of this pace are now frequently labeled “nu-disco” or “indie dance” or some shit like that, forgoing the “house” label entirely. Here’s an offering from PBR Streetgang that makes ingenious use of Missy vocals.

“Yo but like, don’t only hipsters listen to slow house?”

Well, I mean, who are you trying to sleep with, guy? That is why you came to BK to party last Saturday instead of the usual CIRCUS at Webster with “your boys,” right? So unclench your fist, slowly lower your arm, and get with it.

Before I forget, let me just say: fuck the idea that this music is somehow meant for the summer, or feels out of place other times of the year. I largely disagree with that whole concept, anyway, but nu-disco in particular seems to get stuck in that seasonal mold. So don’t listen to these tracks with Summer nostalgia or whilst remembering the feelings of hot sun on your face or whatever. Seriously, don’t do it.

I really, truly hope you did not think of summer once while listening to these tracks. If you did, I absolutely do not forgive you but I can’t stop you from reading this column next week.  @L0pat0