No Secret [Minka]

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, I WOULD STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND SWING MY DICK AROUND LIKE A PROPELLER. NOW, LISTENING TO ‘NO SECRET’ BY MINKA, I KIND OF WANT TO DO THE SAME THING. TOO BAD I HAVE ROOMMATES. THEY WON’T MIND RIGHT? @DINGUSONMUSIC

  

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*COOL PHOTOS BRUH* CMJ Showcase @ Baby’s All Right by Nika De Carlo

Welcome to the newest Dingus Column: Cool Photos Bruh by Nika De Carlo. While we post, often, show photos as part of our Dangerzone series, Nika thought it would be cool to shoot some film.

Here’s some pictures from the CMJ Showcase at Baby’s All Right featuring a sick lineup of Potty Mouth, Tweens, Bo Ningen, and Sunflower Bean.

Photography by Nika De Carlo

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Potty Mouth

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Tweens

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Tweens

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Bo Ningen

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Bo Ningen

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Sunflower Bean

Philadelphia [Mumblr]

10650058_435380786599988_3368861065767822492_n‘Philadelphia’ by Mumblr   (Austin, Texas)

  

There are bands that come onto our homepage, fall off, and we never hear from them again, Mumblr is not one of these bands. They keep producing power like McDonalds keeps producing heart attacks. ‘Philadelphia’ is the name of a city. I spell it wrong all the time (it’s a typo, I’m not that stupid, I hope). Now it’s the name of a song. A kick ass rock song. There’s an Offspring reference to be made here, but I’m not sure what it is. There’s also an Alien Ant Farm reference, but idk, I’m slow on my feet today. Shout out Fleeting Youth Records. @Dingusonmusic

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[[DANGERZONE]] I WROTE THIS ON THE JITNAYYYYY

tshyneandtingWITH SOME BECKYS SNORTIN BRITNEY

In case you didn’t know, I’m one of those “transplants” you may have heard about. New York City’s home grown derogatory term which refers to those of us who are not born and raised New Yorkers. If you’re one of those natives who enjoys employing the phrase “we grew here, you flew here” as an insult to transplants and nobody has told you to go fuck yourself yet, well… it just happened. Because we’re all a whole lot more Harlem than a lot of you n****s. Who the fuck do you think you are claiming ownership of a city that served as the gateway to freedom for countless immigrants before your pasty ass was even born on the UES? The most NY thing you can do is come here from somewhere else. Or Brooklyn. If you come from Brooklyn we good.

Point being that, unlike the majority of you born and bred New Yorkers, YA BOI right here has a (valid?) drivers license and a certain miracle whip colored whip at his disposal. So I have never actually taken the Jitney to the Hamptons like those of you (who don’t take a helicopter) have done for a fun weekend at “the beach.”

  

I’ve always driven. And based on bad television and friendly stories I’ve always had a romantic vision in my head of what taking the Jitney to the Hamptons would be like. 12/1 girl to guy ratio, a bottomless supply of bottles to be popped, a white collar “sex, drugs, and rocknroll” party on wheels that speeds all night long straight into a burning sunrise over the Atlantic.

Now I’ve still never taken the Jitney to the Hamptons. But this new track from TING of GOOD LOOKS EMPIRE featuring T. Shyne of H.O.M.E. Team has confirmed all my beliefs. It’s a song about bitches, liquor, money, pills, weed, coke, various luxury brands, and fire mollies while the hook lightly chants “I wrote this on the Jitney….”

T. Shyne is a long time favorite of mine from the NYC underground. He’s a talented lyricist with flows smoother than your kid sisters period. TING is one of the funniest people I know, hands down, and his sense of humor is usually a heavy influence on his musical style. This track shows a different TING than the one I know. His lyrics are more organized and his delivery is straightforward and consistent through the whole track. The concept of the song itself still has a certain humor shining through and for me that connection is visual. Listening to the track on repeat as I write this I keep visualizing T and TING on a bus turning up lit as fuck amongst various Gossip Girl types and the entire cast of ABCs original series Revenge. That being said, I’m gonna go text these dudes about directing a music video for this track and then I’m out to see Alice Cooper and Motley Crüe at the Garden. If I don’t die from an 80’s overdose tonight, I’ll see y’all tomorrow with @QuazimodoJones and our review and photo coverage of last weeks CMJ fest. And if you really need to find T Shyne or TING I would try WESTWAY. Club turnin up on a… Tuesday?

I had to run away high, so I wouldn’t come home low @mavyentco

19 [Mont Oliver]

Ibg_jEp25mZP_MNi1pVmD9Y0ac1WJJQervR6gBVBlZ0’19’ by Mont Oliver   (Copenhagen, Denmark)

Every once in a while, a track comes along that puts a kink in your step. More appropriately dubbed “struttin music” by yours truly, tracks like this, like ’19’ by Mont Oliver, help outline a stylish historical portrait. Imagine yourself standing at the back door. At the back door of a propeller plane. With a long line of men shitting their pants about to parachute down. To parachute down behind enemy lines to kill Nazis. Picture this scene stylishly set to this track, and tell me I didn’t just open on the greatest modern WW2 movie ever, contemporarily through all of history. I know, I know. I should have been a director. I put Kubrick to shame. @Dingusonmusic

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[ALL HAIL CROM] Monica Lionheart – Live and on Record

NYC-based electro-acoustic singer and multi-instrumentalist Monica Lionheart will return to Brooklyn on Sunday, November 2nd at Cameo Gallery for a performance with another all-star Brooklyn-based cast.

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In addition to Monica, the bill includes three indie-pop stellars such as Dear Georgiana, Alpenglow, and The Landing.  “I’m excited to play this show,” says Monica.  “Its nice to perform at Cameo again and wonderful to be a part of this lineup of some of New York’s emerging indie pop acts.”

Monica, now solo, is well-known as the founder of the Brooklyn-based electro duo Zigmat and vocalist for the Latin-Alternative band Pacha Massive, all before launching her solo career in 2012.  It was then that Nacional Records, well-known for their success with Latin-Alternative artists released her solo debut album.  Lionheart’s record “Indian Summer” was released that year was well-received by critics all over the U.S.  The album’s music videos were released for it’s songs Escape Strategy, Let Go, Rocks to Ankles, and Relampago, all of which went into MTV and VH1’s rotations and received features in Latina Magazine, Remezcla and more. With a new single “The Future” that hit electronic waves earlier this summer, and an upcoming album on the way, November 2nd at Cameo Gallery is a performance you won’t want to miss.

@davecromwell

Let’s Get Physical: Embers [Unkle Bob]

a0987049960_10Embers by Unkle Bob   (Glasgow, UK)

There’s a lot of listeners who make prejudgements on a group based on an immediate perception of how cool they think that group is. Unfortunately, I’m one of them. I pick out when I think a band is “trying to hard”. I pick out when they “aren’t trying hard enough”. And subsequentely, there is a thin grey area where “cool” seems to reside.

In writing for all these years about music that comes straight from the artists soul, straight from the bedroom, I’ve come to learn that sometimes, it’s the most poorly presented work which is truly the most interesting. If my judgements about your chord progressions or your band photo come off as harsh, I’m sorry. I try my best to keep them in my head, because at the end of the day, this artform is in audio, and the rest is secondary.

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That being said, Embers by Unkle Bob caught me off guard. Firstly, I thought “Unkle Bob” was trying to hard. Secondly, I thought that the opening chords were not trying hard enough. And if my experience stopped their, halted by my ego, I would not have heard the dark-pop bliss that came after opening my mind (slightly).

‘All at Once’ opens the album and transitions you within four minutes from soulful singular voice to chorus epic. And that’s pretty much the story of the album. Singular voice vs. group elation.

Embers works off one very simple mechanic: It applies all the makings of the hook without delivering immediately.

  

And through tracks like ‘Out of Style’ you can feel that exact personal singularity that resonates with another singular human being. Yet through moments like those found in ‘Embers’ you feel the unabashed sense of movement, of transit, throughout time, rather than space. As each track creates punctuation for the next, Unkle Bob delivers an album that stands on it’s own, not trough a specific feeling, but through a broad spectrum of emotion.

The album ends on ‘Lightning’, the shortest track on the album. It’s also one of the most traight forward in terms of composition. As it is sure to create a signature finale to an album that has already brought you through the ups and downs of mosical musical movement. @Dingusonmusic

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Stop [Girl Friend]

Screen Shot 2014-10-25 at 12.01.10 AM‘Stop’ by Girl Friend   (Manchester, UK)

Girl Friend is…….mysterious. Mysterious in the way that I couldn’t really find any information about them. Mysterious is typically a good sign when it comes to new music, yes, but this was driving me nuts. All I know (after intensive research and almost throwing my laptop across the room) is that they are from Manchester and are a five-piece band. That’s it. That’s the extent of my research as I could not find anything else. Why are they being so mysterious? Is it the mystery behind their mystery that makes me so curious that I feel the need to listen to their song, ‘Stop’.

Wait, maybe they’re telling me to “stop” and stop trying to find out so much about them so that I can write something about the actual song itself. Alright, Girl Friend, you win this time.

‘Stop’ is a song of many different sounds, many different vibes. As you listen, you’ll notice an almost 90’s esque pattern. Breathy voices, synth pop beats, lots of backing vocals. Girl Friend makes this okay, well, they make it pretty good. The song is catchy and makes you want to get all sweaty in a club with one of those giant scrunchies in your hair. Pftsh, what do I know about the 90’s, I was born in ’95.  ‘Stop’ follows Girl Friend’s debut EP, Everyone Wants to be Wanted. So, you should probably check that out as well here.

Okay, Girl Friend, I like you. I still want/need to know more about you though…eventually at least. I’ll be patient. @caaarlirose

a symphony of band​-​aids for the visionary wound [Alexa Dexa]

a2316167065_10a symphony of band​-​aids for the visionary wound by Alexa Dexa

WHILE MUCH OF a symphony of band​-​aids for the visionary wound IS SCORED OUT ON TOY INSTRUMENTS, THE THOUGHT PROCESS IS THAT OF ANY MAJOR ALBUM RELEASE. TOPPED OFF BY THE POWERFUL VOICE OF ALEXA DEXA, THIS IS AN ALBUM THAT CANNOT BE GRASPED FULLY UPON FIRST LISTEN AND IS SURELY FOR THE SELECTIVE AND INTROSPECTIVE. @DINGUSONMUSIC

    

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STEL★LEO (That’s Deep with Andrew Alexander)

10253872_454143934723360_3954195206707741937_n‘Baby Don’t Lie (STEL★LEO Remix)’   (∆, Bermuda)

When my dude Stel Leo drops a remix, I listen. I mean, he’s way cooler than me- I can tell by how hot his girlfriend is. (shout out). I will probably never listen to the actual Gwen Stefani track that he’s remixing here, and for good reason. She’s actually too cool for me.

Have you ever been pegged by a tranny? Me neither, but it’s on the bucket list and this is what I hope is playing in the background, but turnt real loud so that I can pump my fist while it’s happening (into someone elses butt). Everything on the internet is a lie. I’ve been lied to.

Anyway, this remix is pretty clean, but you want to hear something really filthy. Like, she-forgot-to-shave-her-butthole filthy, check out his Rihanna remix. 

   
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If you’re asking me, and you are, he’s one of the better remix(ers) I’ve encountered here on the websphere. This is a column called “That’s Deep” and I happen to think that talking about pegging and shaving buttholes is very deep. If you think I’m being vulgar just for the sake of being vulgar you need to rethink your entire existential existence. Reevaluate the lens in which you are judging the world. You’re like so 2011, man. You still smoke weed? That’s so 2012. You still vote? No wait, you don’t, the average reader here is like fifteen. If you think that butthole jokes have no place in my writing, I’ll send you my mom’s cellphone number and you guys can talk about it. She’s a great lady.

The state of our music culture can be summed up into two groups of people. Those who are closed down and just want to watch/listen to whatever is popular on Facebook today. And those who are open to the dark corners of the web. The former do not get butthole jokes. Do you get butthole jokes? @Dingusonmusic

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